I went for a bike ride tonight. A mountain ride through the forest, on dirt trails. It was two hours of pure bliss. Challenge, and exhaustion, but I love to ride. Tonight I rode with a group of nine women. Strong, somewhat butchy women. And I started thinking to myself how I’ve never really embraced my tomboy side, even though I have always been a bit of a tomboy.
In my mind I always remind myself of my father and grandfather – both strong silent types. Both good at showing their love in how they look at you.
I’m not always that way – but it’s a core part of me.
Anyway, the thing is – even though I’m a bit of a tomboy inside, and more keen to get out and do something than gossip or shop, I do love boys. And I always have. I was called boy crazy all through grade school. Grade school! That’s like – pre-teenage years!
I love their hair. Their smell. Their mouths and the way they talk.
I love kissing them. Holding hands with them. Chatting about stupid stuff.
My first boyfriend was Peter.
We were 4 years old when we met.
He always held a spot for me on the big chair. We had sleepovers. I was his and he was mine and we both knew it.
But then he moved away. And I remember crying so hard on my mom’s bed. It was my first heartbreak. It was my first relationship. We were just the most sympatico little pair of people. I don’t think that I had a relationship like that until B. Post-marriage. Post everything.
B and I have been together 2 years and he makes me swoon. He gets me and I get him. He’s not easy by any means, but neither am I. We’re all a pain in the ass. We humans.
Between Peter and B there have been many boys though. One or two “men” I guess. But I prefer boyish charm. Hoodies over suits.
After Peter there was Alex, then Jesse. Adam. Ed. Jake, Jeremy, Joe. Zack. Daniel. Scott the first. Adam the second. Adrian. Scott the second. Then my husband. Then B.
I guess it’s not a long list. Or not too long. I could probably think of a whole lot more if I thought about it. ; )