I remember a few years ago that this blog was a real lifeline for me. The friends, the community – and the writing itself.
It’s nice to think of that, and be here for a moment. I’m working from home. The sun is shining in through the living room window. And my house is pretty. Despite the little spots that show signs of life (active 5 year old, tired mum).
In less than a month it’ll be two years since I lived with my ex, and the anniversary coming up resonates so deeply with me, as a sort of “birthday” of my new life, and a reclaiming of my purpose, heart, and soul.
I must say, I feel like I’ve harped on the past a lot, inside my own head and with friends and family. And a two year court battle has me feeling like I was hit by a train… so I hope that now I can move away from the victim mentality, the needing validation and proof, the dwelling on the abuses… yes, it was horrible. But I have moved on. And I must stop licking that old wound.
I’m writing today because – although I am leaving him behind – I live the reality of being a single mum, and that comes with it’s challenges. I have shame. It’s not easy showing up to school events – J at one end of the gymnasium, me at the other.
But I’m ready to laugh about it. So I am thinking to change the name of this blog to
*THE SILLY DIVORCEE*
And keep writing, but some of the ridiculously horrible *and* hilarious things that are the realities of my life.
- the time I dreamed of my ex husband’s penis ?!?!
- The things I used to think were love that I know now were next level psycho !?!
- The moment when you see that your ex was actually JUST LIKE his mom?!?
- The “man’s” jobs that I do now that are both gross and wonderfully empowering!
- My COMPLETE mother’s day meltdown….. with my awesome boyfriend?!?!
So I have no idea if anyone will check this post out, but if you do, I’m looking for ANY encouragement to make this switch and start writing again about my new… flawed…hilarious…..wonderful ….. Life : )
Should I do it?