13 ways to manage the emotional wake you leave (the feeling you leave with others)

Rather than focusing on the roughness of right now, or what hurts, I’m going to try a better use of my energy.

….the courage to change the things I can……

Water wake of cruise liner

Recently I attended a seminar through work that focused on how to confront others about difficult topics, and one of the things that was mentioned was that everyone leaves ‘an emotional wake.’ It really struck a chord with me, so I thought I’d dig a bit deeper and seek some good practical ways to manage my own — maybe you will find these helpful for managing yours too.

I think each of us probably knows a lot more about the emotional wake’s we’ve experienced through the actions, overt and covert, of others we interact with. I don’t know about you but I’ve never really paid much attention to my own, and that’s probably a big miss! I think there is great benefit to be had in growing an awareness of one’s own sphere of influence.

So here’s my big ‘note to self’ : )

  1. Consider the continuum of emotional set points — from the lows of fear, anger, sadness) to the higher ends of love, joy, and hope– and make a conscious effort to move yours up, up, up from fear to love. 
  2. Practice self awareness. Acknowledge when you’re feeling grumpy, cranky, or boundaries have been crossed. Then, decide if it needs to be addressed or just processed – promptly. Address bigger accountability issues with the chronic offenders …. (we all have ’em. They usually go by the name of ‘mom’ hahahaha… or just me?)
  3. Stop focussing on the sadness, anger and fear! Focus your attention on moving forward. 
  4. Be deliberate about the impact you want to have on others. Focus on the feeling in the room when the interaction concludes. How do you feel? Uplifted? Inspired? Content? And How do they feel? Make it great!
  5. Ask questions about other people’s lives.  Remember their answers. Follow up next time. Use their names… Show you care. 
  6. Inspire yourself! Find our how to bring motivation and inspiration into your life daily and pump yourself up!
  7. Realign when out of line; take a breath, refocus, and course correct.   
  8. Pay attention. A wandering, disorganized, pre-occupied mind isn’t going to make anybody involved feel good about anything. Whole focus and mindful attention is a gift you can give – and are blessed to receive.
  9. Put the smart phone down. Put it down! There’s nothing important on it. What’s important is deep inside of us. Leave it for moments when relationships won’t be impacted. Because that stuff really takes one out of the moment and creates a pretty negative wake! 
  10. Commit time every day to adding love, joy, and hope to the live’s of those you interact with. be proactive and curious.
  11. Today is the day! Reduce negative emotions, and the amount of time they’re allowed to take up on this, your special day called TODAY! Period! 
  12. Focus on joy, trusting each day’s gifts, and the importance of creativity, inspiration, and imagination. Create, Inspire, Imagine. Create, Inspire, Imagine!
  13. Try lots of things, and don’t be afraid to fail! Fail lots! Fall down lots! In different languages, at different altitudes, on different instruments! Taste Life! Take risks! It will create a wake of inspired living! Who can resist passion? Nobody. Why be ‘liked’ and ‘nice’ when you could be freakin’ magnetic? 

*First 3 are excerpted from Leadership and the Impact of Emotional Wake. Great Piece, worth reading!




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